Some people care more about their facial features when they fall in love, but it is difficult for a relationship that only cares about faces to last long. After all, only two people with consistent three views can tolerate each other and live together with mutual appreciation. So what is the harmony of three views in love?
1. Consumption Views
When falling in love with a girl, it is very important to understand her consumption views. For example:
For example, the boy Xiao Ming is very motivated. He will use money to improve his strength and spiritual world, such as watching a drama, buying a book, learning a talent, etc.
The girl Xiaohong believes that youth is short and it is time to enjoy yourself. He will use all the money to just satisfy simple desires such as cosmetics, eating big meals, chasing celebrities, etc.
Then after the two fall in love, Xiao Ming wants to invite Xiao Hong to watch a drama to make the two of them richer in connotation and thinking ability. There is an 80% chance that Xiao Hong will say to you: "What's so good about the drama? Why don't you use the money from watching the drama to buy me a lipstick."
The result is that Xiao Ming despises Xiao Hong’s money for being worthless, and Xiao Hong despises Xiao Ming for not knowing how to enjoy life and having no fun.
This is a typical mismatch in consumption views. After both parties estimate their own value, they will feel that the other person is not worthy of them. Even if they are together, it will be difficult to achieve success.
2. Self-positioning
Nowadays, many young couples in love hardly have a good positioning. Your position in love.
For example, girls only treat their boyfriends as cash machines, but do not give them care and understanding.
Another example is that a boy falls in love just for the purpose of reproducing offspring and finds a woman he doesn’t like as his girlfriend.
When men and women have inaccurate positioning in love, it is extremely easy to be self-centered, use narrow thinking to constrain each other, and require the other party to rely on their own needs. How can this lead to happiness?
< p> As the saying goes, behind every successful man stands a woman. Similarly, behind every confident woman, there must be a man who appreciates her.So the second step to understand whether a girl is suitable for you is to talk about how she positions herself when she is in love with you.
3. Future planning
The reason why many couples break up is not because they don’t have cars, houses, money, but There are no plans for the future.
There is a concept called hating uncertainty. The human brain is unwilling to fall into a state of doubt and uncertainty, and always wants to make an immediate decision. This is the result of the long evolution of the brain.
When humans cannot escape the state of doubt and uncertainty, will produce unpleasant emotions, and when this unpleasant emotion accumulates to a certain level, it will explode.
Just like when you go to a barbecue restaurant to eat crayfish, and the waiter keeps asking you to wait, and tells you that he doesn’t know if there are any more crayfish, you will get up immediately and go to another barbecue restaurant to eat, not wanting to waste your time. time.
In the same way, when one of the lovers is unable to determine the other's future plans for a long time, dissatisfaction will occur, and in severe cases, it may directly lead to a breakup.
So when you fall in love with a girl, you must make some future plans, such as career goals, city to settle in, relationship attitude, marriage plans, etc.
Only by determining these, can you have a long-term sense of security for each other, which is the cornerstone of emotional stability.
In fact, the best state of love is when one person’s true self is related to the other person’s true self. Everyone is dependent on the other person, but everyone maintains his or her sense of autonomy and has self-chosen right.
If you want to be dependent on the other person and at the same time be able to have a sense of autonomy, it must be the result of the long-term cognition of both lovers, and the three views are consistent.
