I have been chasing a girl for a long time and spent a lot of time and money, but there has been no progress at all. This is the norm for many boys. So how can you be more likely to succeed in pursuing a girl?
First of all, you must know that girls nowadays have no shortage of boys who are good to her. She is more interested in boys than being good to her. What she needs is a boyfriend who understands her emotions and can bring her spiritual satisfaction. Therefore, if you want to successfully pursue a girl, instead of being nice to her without thinking, you should do the following:
1. Have a "dark" date
Psychologists have proposed a psychological effect called the "dark effect", which refers to dating in a dark place because you can't see the other person's expression clearly. It is easy to reduce the sense of alertness and create a sense of security.
In this case, the possibility of getting close to each other will be much higher than in a place with bright light.
So you see why many couples like to choose Western restaurants with dim lights when dating, and dark restaurants that sound very nonsensical.
So, if you have nothing to do, have some romantic "dark" dates with girls.
You can find a time after get off work. It happens to be the end of the day's work, and girls also want to relax. Hey, here you are.
Even if it’s not a serious date, just sit on the street and have a chat with a cup of milk tea, or find a restaurant with a more romantic atmosphere to have a meal or something.
Some words that cannot be said during the day will be easier to say in this atmosphere. People will be more relaxed and emotional in this environment. Maybe girls will get to know you again.
2. Calm your emotions first and then reason
When many boys are dating girls, they clearly want to Girls like him, but they end up blowing cold air to others.
Girls are always clamoring to lose weight all day long, but they all eat milk tea, bread, and chicken drumsticks in large quantities.
Some straight men have to persuade them to say 123. Oh, milk tea bread contains too much sugar, and fried chicken drumsticks are unhealthy.
There is a lot of blah blah blah, and then the girl really doesn’t have the mood to eat, nor does she have the mood to continue chatting with you.
You said you were doing it for her own good, and we don’t deny it, but what about the result? What benefits did you get?
You feel that you paid a lot, but the girl ignored you. , and then you still can’t figure out why.
Why can’t you tell that something is wrong with a girl’s mood?
We have also said before that boys think rationally and girls think emotionally. You have to convince her that you Just follow her first.
"You can eat what you want, FattyLet me help you lose weight. "
Wouldn't it be easier for her to listen to her after calming down her emotions first?
Then you can tell her:
" However, eating too much sweets is not good for the body and skin, so we should try to eat less. ”
If you want her to listen to you, you must first warm her and let her be emotionally satisfied. In this way, girls will not only listen to you, but also be more tolerant of you.
< p style="text-align: center;">3. Show the similarities between you
There is a homophily effect in psychology, which means that similar people are actually It is easier to attract each other, and you will feel familiar and safe with people who have similar characteristics.
So if you want to attract a girl's attention, you can appropriately show the similarities between you. < /p>
For example, find an opportunity to let her know about the music she likes to listen to, the food she likes to eat, and the scenic spots she has visited. Oh, it turns out you like it too, and you have so many common interests.
< p> In the other person’s subconscious mind, she will feel that you can definitely understand her. Then slowly, won’t you have more opportunities to chat and interact with her?
4. Don’t be too nice to girls
When people face the same amount of gains and losses, the negative effects of the same amount of losses are the positive effects of the same amount of gains. 2.5 times the effectiveness. This is the loss aversion effect in psychology.
Why do I always advise you not to be too accommodating to a girl?
It’s not because you’re afraid that girls will eventually get used to your kneeling and licking, and they’ll stop doing it if you slack off a little bit. This is violating the loss aversion effect. You only make her feel happy and not feel the loss of you. Painful, how can she know how to cherish it?
Therefore, when interacting with girls, we can learn from this effect and make advances and retreats while adhering to our own bottom line.
< p>For example, if you keep talking to her, just end it; if she refuses to give her a gift, don’t give it again; for dinner, if you keep paying for it, let her treat her once...Another example , you don’t like a girl to have too many negative emotions, so when she always complains to you, you can tell her:
“I am very happy that you can share your things with me, what do you have? I can help you share your unhappiness, but I hope you can also share it with me when you are happy, instead of just treating me as your emotional trash can, okay?"
Don't be afraid of being left out, if If she can only bear your kindness but cannot accept your suggestions, it only means that she doesn't care about your feelings at all, so you have nothing to worry about, right?
