People with high emotional intelligence are at ease both at work and in life, so everyone is more interested in how to improve their emotional intelligence. Today I saw a saying that empathy equals high emotional intelligence. So the question is, what does empathy mean? Let’s learn about it today.
Let me share a story with you:
One day a little white rabbit fell into a She fell into a black hole and cried for help, "I'm trapped, it's so dark here, I can't stand it anymore." She fell into negative emotions and started crying. Her neighbors, the big bad wolf and the white goat, saw the crying little white rabbit. The wolf said to the little white rabbit: "Oh, too bad, how pitiful"; the white goat also saw the crying little white rabbit, walked to her and hugged her and said: "I know how dark it is here, you don't alone".
Empathy was proposed by humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers. It is intended to refer to the ability to put yourself in the shoes of others and experience the situation of others, thereby achieving the ability to feel and understand the emotions of others.
We often divide boys into "warm men" and "straight men". "Warm men" can empathize well, while "straight men" generally have poorer empathy. For example, if you are a woman, A friend says to you, "I bought a bag of dried fish and it was so hard that my mouth was bruised all over." If you reply, "There are no bones in this fish, it's because you have bad teeth," then you are just being straight.
But there is a very strange phenomenon that some people lack empathy, while some people are over-empathic. What is over-empathy?
The starting point of empathy For the benefit of others, not for your own benefit. If your empathy is more about protecting yourself from harm, then you are probably over-empathizing.
For example, if your good friend is broken up in love, and you see him crying very sadly, your mood will seem to become depressed at this time. If you are depressed, it is because you feel nervous when you see her like this. If you are anxious, then your starting point is to protect yourself rather than putting yourself in the same feelings as the other person and experiencing her pain.
Faced with this situation, whether you are empathizing with others or protecting yourself, you cannot get stuck in negative emotions. You can support her and accompany her, but you must grasp the boundaries. You cannot make decisions for him, nor can you evaluate or interfere with his own choices.
Cultivate empathy and become a person with high emotional intelligence.
1. Respond to the other person’s body movements: I see that you haven’t eaten well recently. You must be very tired recently. Did something happen to you?
2. To the other person Feedback based on deep emotions: For example, if your friend tells you, "His girlfriend has a very bad temper and will be scolded if he is not careful at all, so he is cautious about what he says and does at home and feels very tired." You can Such empathy "listenedFrom your description just now, I can understand how tired you feel facing such a girlfriend. You are in a weak position in the relationship between the two of you and must have suffered a lot. You must want to have a normal relationship with your girlfriend. 3. Use imagination: When you told me about the way your family treats you, I seemed to see a weak child hiding in the corner. Your family Criticizing you and blaming you in a condescending manner makes you feel weak, helpless, and lonely. You want to resist, but you don’t have the strength to resist.
There is no doubt that your ability to empathize will be slowed down after being cultivated in this way. Grow up slowly, and this is also a way to cultivate emotional intelligence, so have you learned it?
