When you pursue a girl you like, you have been silently giving and being kind to her, but in the end you find that she just treats you as a spare tire that is always available. What should you do in this situation?
< p style="text-align: center;">1. The wrong way to be used as a backup by girls
1. Eager to prove yourself
Some When a person finds that he has become a spare tire, he still has a "waiting" mentality, waiting for the other person to change his mind.
But in the process of waiting, I am still unwilling to be used as a spare tire by girls. I want to rush to prove that I am a valuable and capable person. However, the more I pay, the less I gain, and even Disgusted by girls.
Because the attraction in love is mutual, when one party outputs too much value, it will make the relationship between the man and the woman unbalanced. While raising the value of the girl, it is invisibly lowering the value of the girl, and he is eager to attract the girl. Showing your feelings reveals your need for girls, and your impatience will only make girls shrink back.
2. Trying to impress girls with "action"
For some love novices, they find themselves Becoming a girl's backup, and thinking that you still have a chance until the girl explicitly refuses to accept her, thinking about "doing something" all the time, talking to girls when they have nothing to say, asking for warmth to show concern, forcing awkward chats about daily life, The result will only be that the girl becomes bored with you and the relationship with the girl becomes further and further away.
The mistake here is that you are only obsessed with expressing yourself to girls and forcibly promoting relationships with girls without considering the girls’ feelings. It is like a person who doesn’t like eating vegetables but you force her to eat them. , even if she is forced to eat it, she will not be happy.
We must understand that any social relationship is mutual, and each party accounts for half. If you are the only one who is willing to communicate and the other person is not, then you are talking to yourself. When the other person doesn't want to talk, you can't open her mouth and forcefully talk to her.
No one wants to be someone’s spare tire. Everyone wants to be the protagonist in love. So what should you do if you want to get rid of the backup status and successfully become a full-time employee?
2. Guide to turning a girl into a regular person if she is used as a spare tire
1. Accept the reality and change your mentality
When When we find that we have unintentionally become a backup tire for girls, it is unwise to rush to prove ourselves to girls. It is like saying that we are not sick in a mental hospital. No one will believe it, so we must quickly change our mentality and accept the current situation. positioning, and then control the frequency and quality of contact.
Use a backup role to interact with girls, respect social rules and objective facts, and seize limited opportunities to show your true level.
2. Abandon the past and establish new impressions
The reason why the spare tire cannot be turned into a regular person is because the other party understands you and knows everything about you. They know your shortcomings and your strengths, and they understand you completely to the point of losing interest, so you need to develop new abilities and demonstrate abilities they don't know about. Now that information is so developed, as long as we are willing to spend a certain amount of time to learn a new thing, we can roughly understand and master it. Then show your changes through appropriate channels, and the other party will definitely be surprised. As long as we can successfully attract the other party's attention, we have taken the first step to success.
3. Balance the social status of both parties
Generally speaking, beautiful girls are proud, and they are not surrounded by There is a lack of suitors. If you express your love to a girl, you will be no different from other suitors and will only be eliminated. At this time, if you show a sense of no need for girls, you are releasing value to girls in disguise, and attention will be focused on you.
4. Confess affectionately and face it calmly
If you do the above, the other party will definitely understand what you mean, but they will definitely not reply to you. Because they always feel that you like him and have eaten you to death. No matter how bad he treats you, you will never leave. And you need to make the final move to break their illusions. Find a late night and tell him that you like him very much and want to be with him, but you don't want to accept this ambiguous state and let him weigh the pros and cons and make a choice. No matter what the outcome is, you have to deal with it calmly.
In fact, being a girl’s spare tire is not scary. It means that you are still within the girl’s consideration range. At this time, you must maintain your own attitude, control your sense of need, and convey your values ????and charm to girls. Let her see you differently so that she can treat you differently.
